LaWana. The fun bus never ends. My friend Shay called me the other day with news that makes me glad the Army sent us far ,far, away from my hometown. Shay is the other person that LaWana did wrong in the story from the other post. In fact, Shay is the the very person LaWana was afraid to lose her friendship with, due to Shay’s ,”Ain’t takin no mess” personality and also the people Shay associates with. But before I get to that let me catch you up on how this bottom of a DVD remote got caught.
Now, in the other post I told you my story, but here is some of Shay’s and how ours came together. Right around the time I had told my buddies about me getting engaged, Shay had dectected some foul activity from her ”friend” LaWana. Over the years there had been some foul stuff but it was so far in-between that it was no big cause for alarm…so Shay thought. So, after I told them the news, I noticed LaWana started doing weird mess like speaking on behalf of Shay, where we would all do stuff together, hang out, movies whatever, without our “men”, LaWana would eliminate me out of the picture. For example….Shay can cook. Really cook. So sometimes she would invite a bunch of people over to her house and they would eat. Because either Shay and I was giving LaWana rides at this point, she pretty much knew what our plans where. So, after my announcement, Shay decided to have a get together. She was making her signature chili. Again, the girl can cook. She told me to come over later bout 6:00. Well, it was after work and I went to my apartment to change and chill for minute. Around 5:30, I got a call from LaWana this is how it went:
*Phone Rings, I see Shay’s cell Phone number on the I.D*
Shanna: Hey Shay what’s up?
LaWana: Hey , it’s not Shay, it’s “Wana”
Shanna: Ok, hey….Where’s Shay?
LaWana: Shay is in the store paying for gas. She wanted me to call you right quick and tell you that the chili dinner is off. E.J (her son), is very sick and she is taking him to the hospital.
Shanna: Oh, ok….well I’ll just come by later then.
LaWana: ***tone kind of testy***No need to do that, we don’t know what’s wrong with him. Plus Shay said she’ll give you a call later.
Shanna: Okay, no problem. Hope E.J. feels better.
LaWana: *click*
Shanna: WTF???
There would be one more phone call encounter between me and LaWana before this was all over….
Anyway, that was fishy to me. But I didn’t call to verify since I was very tired, just getting off of work and my 1 year old daughter was all over the place. The weekend passes, and Shay eventually calls and literally cusses me out for not coming. I told her about everything and that’s where things kind of started going down hill for LaWana.
Oh I know Shay called LaWana, but though LaWana missed the phone call, she obviously did not miss Shay’s voicemail. Shay told me what she said on it. I think it would be safe to say LaWana would need to spend the night in a Church, under the pulpit, for 2 weeks to ecsape all those curses.
When the jig was up about LaWana and the mess she was pulling with us, the first thing she tried to do was see what was up with Shay. She really wanted to know exactly what and how much of that, did Shay really know. She thought she was slick tho. In her mind I bet she was thinkin, “Out of the 2 people, why not go after the one who doesn’t have guns stashed in every crevice they can find?” So she called me at work. It was like her whole world was coming down. I could tell too. By this time my daughter had been taken out of her daycare, and she knew Shay knew everything I knew. Specially the stuff she said about Shay, her house and her son. This is the phone call:
*Phone Rings at work, I see LaWana’s Phone number on the I.D*
Shanna: *Sigh* Who is this? (LOL)
LaWana: (yelling) SHANNA! Don’t F***ING START WITH ME! DO NOT! THIS IS NOT FUNNY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SHAY? WHAT DID YOU TELL HER? WHY IS SHE TRIPPIN? WHY IS SHE—-
Shanna: Oh, I know who this is…
LaWana: F**K YEW SHANNA! F**K YEW SHANNA! WHY YOU GOTTA BE LIKE THAT? WHAT I TOLD YOU WAS SUPPOSD TO BE CONFIDENTIAL! SHAY CALLED ME TRIPPIN.
Shanna: You sound like you did something. Like you said something you shouldn’t have. You sound scared.
LaWana: (Still yelling) ALL I SAID ABOUT T******A (My daughter), WAS THAT SHE LOOK LIKE HER DADDY. ALL SAID ABOUT YOU IS THAT YOU COULD BE LIVING IN A BETTER NEIGHBORHOOD. WHAT DID YOU TELL SHAY?
Shanna: I told Shay the 7th moon will set near the 7th sea of autumn, the scales of the dragon will come and eat BBQ pork pellets with the midgets. Shay told me what you said tho. It’s 10:00am on a Thursday, shouldn’t you be watching your kids? Hopefully you are doing your job. Not using up folks diapers and wipes. Hopefully, all that yelling you are doing, it’s in another room and not cussing around those children like that. But it’s 10am, not naptime yet, so who IS watching the kids? Glad my child doesn’t hear mess like that.
LaWana: F**K YEW SHANNA! YOUR CRAZY! YOU THINK YOU ALL THAT CUZ YOU GETTING MARRIED TO THAT MILITARY JAMAICAN MAN? I CAN BRING DOWN A NOTCH, WAIT…WAIT….WAIT….LET ME…..I’MMA WHOOP YOUR ASS! YOUR HUSBAND….HE AIN’T NOTHIN! I HOPE HE HAS STD’s! I HOPE HE SUCKS ASS! HE’S NOT RIGHT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO MARR-
Shanna: *Click*
Work phone rang once after, and my cell phone 4 times after. So……that is how she called me trying sound like she doin somethin. I sat there at my job, her knowing where I work, waiting for her to jump on the bus…. ride across town with 5 kids, 2 of them babies, to come and whoop my behind. I even told my co-workers and they sat with me and waited. We ate Cheetos and drunk coffee. I sat there chatted online, yes, at work, and waited. I even drove by her home on the way home to see if she was waiting for me, but nothing. Nobody came. Heffa.
So anyways, Shay called me the other day to tell me that Mr. Ed’s tail hair is still trying to call herself getting married and done finally got a car. A Dodge Stratus. Good for her, though my daughter’s father has said the same thing, but she never drives it. She always has somebody else drive it. LOL. The married part , Shay said, is something that was put out there so eventually we could hear about it and make us think she is doing well. Shay and I laughed about this , because we both know, she know folks we all know is going to talk about it and it would get back to us. She still asks people if they have heard from me. Everyone knows to say no they haven’t, even though they are the ones calling and telling me about her. So sad. Shay said she seen her in Wal-mart one time, and saw her first and waited for a good minute to make sure LaWana seen her, and LaWana tried to duck almost dive into the clothes area. LOL!
Anywhoo…. SOme people are still stuck in the past when the best thing for them to do is to better themselves and move on. Very easily, this could be said for me, the living in the past thing, as far as telling this story….but I am just annoyed that my childhood friends call me or I call them and this is what comes up because they see her and she is still stuck in the year 2001, askin about folks who shouldn’t amtter to her anymore.
Take it Easy!
