Permed Edges

 I grew up in a time  home where children were to be seen and not heard. 

Example:

I remember going to a store with my mother a long time ago. We were as happy as could be and enjoying mother/daughter time when there they were staring at me and, I them:

Pink Jellies!!

(Keep in mind this was the 80’s!)

But at that same moment, my mother saw Daphne Jones.  Her prayer buddy from church.  I was in quite a dilemma.  Mrs. Jones was in the direction where the Plus Size women department was, waving but she wasn’t moving anywhere, and so  that meant she wanted us to join her.  Since mom saw her and we were in that direction anyway, the situation turned from bad to worse, since the shoes were in the other direction from where we started. Before I could whisper or even tug at mom’s dress,  Mrs. Jones and mom began to yell across the aisles of clothes and over the jewlery section to start talking about church potlucks and what Ms. Jerry had on last Sunday.  I wanted those jellies so bad….but were they worth dying over? 

If I opened my mouth, and inturrupted, I know that it would be ripped off with just enough skin left dangling to support under my nose. If I tugged at mom’s dress at this point, she would smack me out the building, leaving my kneecaps, ankles, and eyelashes to drop in the spot my body once was.  That would be for bothering her for something that was not considered important.  Let’s just say I didn’t die that day of course and the jellies came at a better time.

My point in my story is that I knew what respect was.  I knew how to stay in line and keep my mouth shut because I was a child and unless there are other children involved, or somebody addressed me, I just needed to wait until the adults finished.  My household was not the only ones like this.

These days kids are brats.  They will go toe-2-toe with an adult like that’s normal.  Talking back, having to make THEIR point, having to get out their side.  Who do they think they are?  I know where the problem starts though…..Parents. 

I am no expert but I know how I got to be the person I am today.  My parents whooped my behind.  I learned to eat those vegetables on the plate and do it with a smile.  My parents loved me and showed it to me just as equally as they showed me what was right or wrong.  I respected my elders and knew how to stay quiet, especially when I knew Old man Gibbs was cheating when he thought nobody was lookin during a checkers game, and when Sammy Tolken took the steak knives and sauce containers in his ToGo box when some folks went out to eat after church.

I was in the mall the other day and saw this like 15 year old girl talkin to her mother like she something other than an adult.

15 year old girl:  MOM!  I thought I told you I wanted you to stay out of there when I tried those clothes on!!

MOM!: Well, honey I need to see what that looks like because you are not going to be wearing something too short, or tight.

15 year old [yelling] : MOM! (yep again!) I am tired of you telling me what I can wear!  I’m too old for this.  This is so embarrassing!  Why can’t you go somewhere else and I’ll let you know when I’m done?

MOM!: No, I am staying right here.  Maybe you don’t need any of those clothes if you are going to be yelling like this.

15 year old:  I AM getting these clothes you are NOT going to tell me I am NOT getting these clothes.

[Mom & 15 year old notice me staring hard]

MOM!:  Honey let’s go [side-eyeing me]

15 year old:  ARGGH!  I hate you!  [stomps out of store]

WTF???

Well, I’ll be damned!  In my home, she was just askin to die.  She basically said to me , Shanna  kill me!  I would just love to go now! This how I want it done, rapidly, because that’s what would happen I would reach out without warining and she would have just dissolved in my hand.

  Man, My children KNOW.  They just KNOW.  How your child gonna be tell YOU something? Any of these youngins have jobs?  This new generation is being raised on some new kind of nutrition.  FOR REAL.   

Kids didn’t not ask to be here.  It is our job to protect them, feed them, help them, encourage them, and be there for them.  We can’t be their friend, we gotta be their parent.   Some folks just have good kids.  Some folks have “in-betweens” and some have bad asses.  No matter what, we as parents have a job to do.  The younger they are, the easier it may be on you to mold them.  So when they get older ,they will already know.  Teen are going to be rebellious but I seen a 6 years old cuss out his teacher once, and the parent wouldn’t take responsiblilty for what the child had been doing. They had been acting out what they saw at home and the parent  tried to find every reason to say that the teacher was wack and was the problem.  That’s another thing, parents be in denial.  Some folks just have bad asses.  Some people’s kids are just bad.  My hand hurts, I could go on all year about my feelings on this….Parents just do the best you can. 

 The lazy parents kids are the ones who end up influencing my own. That is why I’m pissed too.  I work hard at doing what I do, with my kids.  We go 2 steps forward, they be around lazy parents kids and here we are 25 steps back.  My kids come home and get theirs because they saw “Joe” or Susie” do it.  Lazy Parents kids are what’s gonna get you facing the wall and maybe more for writing on walls or talking the hell back. So because “Joe” and Susie’s” parents wanted to be their friends, be liberal, and free with their kids, and even call their parents by their first name……My damn kids come home at their young age mimicking this mess and I gotta deal with that.  Not being mean,  and Yes I have love in my house… but….Let’s do better…..even for me there is always room for improvement…….

Take it Easy……